I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
