We're facebook friends in real life
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I touched a dick in church today
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
