Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
