Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This toilet bowl is my home.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
