I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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