It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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