im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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