i permit you to call me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
