His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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