Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
All the doctor said was why
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
