the condom got lost in my hair
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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