so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
