Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When are your genitals available?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
