In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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