i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
