Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
