You smell like a Billy Joel song
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
