a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you traded sex for a burrito?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You were trust falling into bushes
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
