haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
