They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
