either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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