Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
