Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
