Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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