the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
