i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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