Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
