Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
