it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
