WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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