She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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