hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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