he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
