i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
