Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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