There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
then he tried to convert me to islam
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
