stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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