did you get engaged???
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
