i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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