Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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