If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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