It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
