my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
