I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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