evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
