I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
