Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
