Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
