Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i came on her dog
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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