You work out of a Hotel?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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